What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
13.06.2025 00:32
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
She was in good health!
The World Ends with You Director Tatsuya Kando Leaves Square Enix - Anime News Network
But ive been too sick for many years..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
She found it foreign!.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
China Set for Critical Orbital Refueling Test With 2 U.S. Satellites Watching Closely - Gizmodo
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
The FDA Launches Its Generative-AI Tool, Elsa, Ahead of Schedule - Gizmodo
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I was seconnd youngest,
Especially a lifetime of it.
Do happily married husbands cheat?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Germany: Cologne evacuation lifted after WWII bombs defused - dw.com
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But it wasn’t much.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Tariff news isn't good... - Daily Kos
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was very sick at this time too.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Rashod Bateman Signs Contract Extension - Baltimore Ravens
He knew the spot.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
This Type of Fiber Could Have Weight Loss Benefits Similar to Ozempic - ScienceAlert
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
And i lived it daily.
Comes on , in middle age.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Was to survive, this bastard.
We all went to grammer schools
I will be 64.
I waited trembling.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I was 9 years of age.
She married twice! .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
What did i know ?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Im still living with it.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Where the ultimate outsiders.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Why did i forgive my father ?
When she asked me how she looked .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
One cannot live in the past .
She loved him until the end.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Would this be the day?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
As i do to all so called friends.?
Ive learnt so much.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I was scared of men, in general
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Who then, do I blame.?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I said to her
But, we were locked up after school.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I don,t even have a pension.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My life is so biszare .
Put me off passion for life!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I have no regrets .
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I think the readers, may guess!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
(And it was in our own minds.)
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She wouldn,t have been !
He resisted the act ,that day.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
So whats the point in blame.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
All the time i was locked up.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I write beautiful poetry .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
This is soul school!.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
It was going to be , some day.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
We were not on the streets..
My family never makes their pension either.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
So, i spoilt her more .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.